I must have spent two days searching on the internet for an advertisement that was at least 300 words in length. This may well have been the hardest part of project one. After finding and appropriate source text, I sat down to begin the translation process, by reading and rereading through the text multiple times. I wanted to get a feel of how the text reads in Spanish. Then I scanned the text for clues as to who the target audience might be. Being that the advertisement that I had selected is a travel brochure, I figured that the target audience would be anyone from the age of 18 to 70 years old with a demographic that stretches around the world. However, this project’s Target Text will be in English even though this brochure may be read by many. I noticed that on within the contact information that source text seems to target customers from Spain by listing a telephone number specifically for clients from Spain to use. Something that I noticed while reading through the Source text was that there was going to be some areas within the Source text that maybe problematic during the translation process. Although these areas are perfectly correct they tend to create fragments in English.
Now that I have gathered all the information needed about who my target text audience will be and created a glossary of terms I am now ready to complete my first attempt at translation. For my first draft, I have elected to just give a very literal translation. I wanted to make sure that I had a complete idea of the exact words that the company elected to use before changing anything, so that I could keep to the original text as much as possible. This I noticed defiantly created areas that were fragment sentences within English thus, causing the target text to sound choppy and disjointed. It did not read the way a travel brochure would read in English. I then let a classmate read though the literal text to make suggestion on how it would sound better to a native English reader. I then also made your that I did not miss any of the literal translation from Source text to target Text. For instance I found a couple places within my target text the use of the word “you” that should have been the word “your.” Just these simple changes made a huge difference in the flow of the reading.
During the third attempt my goal was to know get to work on changing all the fragment sentences within the target text to create an easy flow for my possible reader. I had a very difficult time with this because I worried that I may be changing the source text too much thus, losing its original style and flare so to say. However, in some cases I felt this was something that just had to be done in order to create a text that an English speaker would be able to read and say “yes that is exactly how I would say it.” Within the chosen source text there were many instances where new sentences in new paragraphs would begin with the word “with.” By starting a new paragraph with the word “with” it implies that you are going to complete the sentence with a reason and in the Spanish source text this was not the case. For example the ST says
“con la comodidad de nuestro rápido asesoramiento online, la seguridad de contratación en su país a través de agencias de viajes locales (personalmente y online) y el reconocimiento a nivel internacional de nuestros clientes”
In English this reads literally, With the convenience of our fast online advice, the security of contracting in your country through local travel agencies, (personally and online) and the international recognition of our clients. This statement is a fragment; it leaves the reader wondering ok with these things….. WHAT? There is a lack of information here in English. The English reader is hearing, with these things, internet, advice, security ect.. “I’m going to get what?” Because these things state suggest to the customer that there is going to be a pleasurable result for having these amenities, peace of mind perhaps. This was by far the hardest part of the translation process deciding if it is appropriate to completely change the sentences structure and add more information.