Help Urgently Needed

Something is up with one of my students. In the last 2 weeks, it seems like her personality has just done a complete 180.

She used to be very sweet and get along with everyone in class. But in the last 2 weeks she's become very irritable, stubborn, and even has huge bursts of intense anger. She tattles on every little thing and has even been caught lying about many of the things of which she tattles. She's started picking fights with children she claims are her best friends, and she will sit and refuse to do her work in school.

A little background: she's 8, in second grade, on an IEP for LD receives para support for at least 2 hours during the day and is pulled to the resource room for half an hour a day). She lives with both parents and is Hispanic, though both her parents are now considered fluent in English. She no longer receives ESL services.

Mom calls the school often (and I mean often), angrily telling us outrageous stories that her daughter has told her happened at school.

In the past, I've had a few instances where the little girl wouldn't do one thing or another because "my mom told me I don't have to." I have a tendency to believe that considering mom has told both the principal and me that "my daughter shouldn't have to do all the work that the others do because she's slow."

I don't know if any of that will help. I'm completely at a loss. I brought it up with my principal, but not the fullest extent of the situation. I'd like to do a little research first.

Any ideas what might be going on?

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Comment by Richard Gratz on February 3, 2010 at 5:53pm: I'm kind of new to giving advice online, but have been teaching for 20 years. Without really knowing the entire situation, and not knowing your classroom management skills, or whether you promote an atmosphere of respect and cooperation...etc. I'd suggest breaking down the problem, and looking at the "big picture." You may need to go over the IEP with the family so that everyone is aware of what the expectations are. The parents need to feel that you are working together with them to help their child achieve their potential, and that you are trying your best to support their child. The family must be part of the solution, not the problem. If the IEP needs to be adjusted to include expectations about behavior, that needs to be done as well, with an action plan. The parents should be able to help you with their child's behavior once clear expectations are established, and a better teacher/parent relationship is established. Just wondering if you have a school based team,(usually consisting of LA/Special ed teachers, principals, school councellor), that you could discuss this particular situation with? Hope this helps....and remember to enjoy yourself, teaching can be fun.

Comment by suehellman on February 3, 2010 at 10:44pm: HI Jessica -- if you can pinpoint the change in her behaviour that closely and there is nothing in her file or school history to indicate that this has happened before, I'd be asking myself what has happened for her to be doing this. I think it's good to rule out all possibilities outside the school first. I hate to say this but this acting out has the ring of a cry for help to me. She's doing everything she can to not go unnoticed. Is there possible teasing or bullying at school that you may not be aware of? Is there any possibility of abuse in the home? I'd be on the school counsellor's doorstep tomorrow trying to find out what that person can do to investigate and what other processes the district has that can be put into motion.

Meanwhile if there's even one adult in the school she feels safe with and is calm around, I'd have her spending a lot of time with that individual. Perhaps she will disclose what is truly troubling her. I think it's a good guideline to treat the behaviour as a symptom rather than as a cause and try to find what's lying behind it.