Doctor Schmoctor

The New York Times just published an insightful piece on how "teenagers are different".

Not to cast aspersions on this fine journalistic institution, but "No Duh!"

And then, in the field of adolescent brain biology, the Times just reported that a gent named Dr. Steinberg recently won the $1 million Klaus J. Jacobs Research Prize for his work in this field of study. He even gets to go to Switzerland to collect the cash and eat a few tasty meals along the way, I assume.

A million clams for that? Heck, if he gets this kind of cash for his insights, how much are the following 3 insights worth for me:

1) Dr. Steinberg says teenagers are not crazy, they are different.

I say teenagers are crazy -- but their craziness actually represents a form of sanity and it's really the adults in this world who are bonkers. To wit, I offer you Glenn Beck. Is there a teen loonier than that?

2) Dr. Steinberg says that "neuroscientific research is showing that over the course of adolescence and into the 20s, there is continued maturation of the brain."

I say hogwash. If anything, most 20-25 year olds have their heads more up their butts that most kids between the ages of 13-19. I mean have you waited in line at a Starbucks lately? Those aren't teens taking 11 minutes per customer to pour a cup of joe and bag a cranberry muffin... they are peeps years out of high school. Once again, case proven!!

3) Dr. Steinberg says that, "We’ve found that a certain part of the brain is activated by the presence of peers in adolescents, but not in adults."

Oh really. Well, maybe some more adults should take a clue. I mean look at how this person is dressed... you'd never see a teen buckle to this level of "I don't care-ness." (And thanks heavens, too!)

All in all, I think my own astute findings deserve at least 25 grand. And considering it really only took me fifteen minutes to make these deductions, I gotta say, what in the world is this illustrious doctor doing with all his time being that he requires years to draw his conclusions whereas I pretty much bang mine out right off the top of my head?

Wait, I know... he's GAMING! And I bet I know 100 teens that could kick his butt at Call of Duty 4 as well. Wonder what his "research" says about that!!

Doctor Schmoctor!!